There’s something deliciously sappy about my bright pink nail polish (courtesy of Edy, age nine and already the nail polish extraordinaire) and the cheery rays of sun filtering through the window. Michelle Branch’s blast from the not-so-long-ago-past, “Breathe,” is blaring in my head, and I’m feeling on top of the world. Hello summer!
Did you know that summertime is worse than New Year’s when it comes to resolutions? At least for me it is. Three months of freedom (okay, so it’s a rather sketchy definition) and endless opportunities stare me straight in the face… and I can hardly catch my breath before I want to dive in and “do life,”—whatever that means. But then I kick myself and try to turn off that little voice inside my head that incessantly whispers, “Go, go, go!” I started a list during finals week, something along the lines of “Summer To-Dos.” It’s sitting in a recycle bin somewhere.
If I just breathe…
Why do I feel like I’m in control when I hold my breath? I remember playing a game when Hil and I were younger. We’d see how long we could hold our breath… I think I passed the two-minute mark once or twice. Sometimes I feel like I’m still playing that game. Reminds me of my Don-Rags question: Compare the supernatural fall (Satan’s fall) to the natural fall (Adam’s fall). Believe me, there is a connection to the game and the question.
If I just breathe…
I won’t be going home this summer. Just thinking about it still causes a queasy feeling in my stomach. So much for the whole “Miss Independent” thing—I just can’t quite pull it off. Can I say how excited I am that Hil is coming to visit? I’m smiling just thinking about it.
I am excited about this summer. I am growing up—regardless of if I want to or not. I am learning… if I just breathe…
I almost forgot how wonderful it is to just sit down, think, and write. I’m not psycho-analyzing myself. I’m not laying out the next bajillion years of my life.
If I just breathe…
Hello summer!
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2 comments:
YOU POSTED! you are such a beautiful writer...i can't wait to read what you have to say here! love you!
Weirdly enough...I was listening to "Breathe" during finals week (nothing like a good pop song to cure the studying blues)... and yesterday I painted one nail bright pink--then thought better and took it off.
Oh, and I'm glad you can just sit down, think, and write :)
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